Wednesday, September 16, 2015

A Life of Worry

Mabel worried all the time. She worried that she would have a gruesome fatal accident, so she stopped driving. She worried that she would slip in the shower and crack her skull open, so she resorted to only taking sponge baths. She worried that she might step on a nail or fall down a manhole, so she stopped walking any further from her house than her mailbox. She had rendered herself a recluse. 
Although Mabel loved beef, pork, and poultry, she stopped eating meat because she worried that she would choke on a lump of gristle. However, she was also worried that she might cut herself chopping vegetables, so she now ate only baby food purees. The fact of the matter was that Mabel was so paralyzed with worry that she might do something that would inadvertently result in her demise that she tried not to do anything at all. She spent her days watching reality television from her sofa, where she sat nearly motionless, surrounded by soft, nonthreatening pillows. 
One evening, as Mabel reclined in her bubble of safety while watching The Biggest Loser, a meteor, traveling at great velocity, randomly hurtled in from space. It crashed through her roof and came to rest directly on top of Mabel and her innocuous sofa. 
She was killed instantly.


For similar absurd meanderings, check out the following: 

A Life of Worry, Alisha Adkins, copyright 2013.  This also appears in the Abecedary of the Absurd as part of the collection Twisted Tales for Twisted Minds, second edition.

Image created with Polyvore.

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