"Sit up straight! You'll ruin your posture!"
In Sally's household, good posture was next to godliness.
"Only slackers slump!" her mother always cautioned as she put her daughter through rigorous posture exercises for hours each day. These initially involved balancing a book on her head but grew more elaborate and difficult as Sally got older and her mother got more OCD.
One day, while balancing a large stack of garden stones on her forehead, Sally's neck unexpectedly gave out and her head fell off her shoulders with an unceremonious "plop."
Although racked with guilt for subjecting her daughter to such arduous (and, as it had turned out, dangerous) exercises, Sally's mother couldn't help but feel a secret hint of pride when she saw how straight her daughter lay in her coffin.
|Improving Posture and Balance|
The Virtues of Good Posture, Alisha Adkins, copyright 2013. This also appears in the Abecedary of the Absurd as part of the collection Twisted Tales for Twisted Minds, second edition.