Sunday, September 6, 2015

Perpetual Presence

Faded Dreams - created with Polyvore
Are you tired of relationships that inevitably end? Of children that grow up and move away? Of pets with inconveniently short life spans?

Introducing the Perpetual Presence!

With the Perpetual Presence, your house need never feel “too empty” again! Leave behind those feelings of discontent or gnawing loneliness. The Perpetual Presence is scientifically proven to mimic the subconscious effects of human companionship. It emits a steady stream of low level vibrations, giving you the physical sense that you are never alone. And if you crave feedback, that’s no problem – the Perpetual Presence has an impressive array of mood settings that allow it to respond to your voice. For example, you can set your Presence to gently glow, hum, or emit soothing ocean noises! Just listen to these customer testimonials: 
     “It’s like having an elderly parent in the house – but without all the messy cleanup!” – Sally Macadoodle, Florida. 
     “I’ve never felt such a sense of security in my life. My Perpetual Presence never judges, and it will never leave!” – Matilda Snickerbottom, Wisconsin. 
     “I’ll admit, it does sit there like a bit of lump, but so did my ex-husband – at least the Presence has a much more pleasant personality!” – Wanda Fluttersnert, Maine. 

Millions of Americans are already enjoying newfound contentment thanks to Perpetual Presence. Call today to get your own Presence – and piece of mind! And for even greater emotional support, try our new Perpetual Cuddler - available in terrycloth!